Pump Laws

(These will probably be revised frequently.)

Pump Laws

General
We only have one customer, and you're it! (Snort!)

Delivery

• EVERYBODY lies about delivery. Except US. WE just pass on the lies told to us by our suppliers. I've been here more than five years and have seen exactly three pumps arrive on or before the date promised by the manufacturer. You know this - why are you acting surprised?
• Titanium pump parts are to be quoted with a delivery of ‘Someday- if you're lucky!’.

Warranty

• Warranty does NOT cover operator screw-ups or damage caused by lack of maintenance.
• Warranty also does not cover electric motors that were submerged for three days in a flood.
• We do not ship certain types of pumps with oil in the bearing housing. The fact that your non-english-speaking field crew can't read the tags that tell you to put oil in the pump before startup is not our fault. Warranty does not cover damage caused by operating the pump without oil in the bearing housing.

Operator / Owner Head Space

• Turning the motor backwards is a BAD THING!
• Turning the plunger pump on with the discharge valved shut is a VERY BAD THING! (We have seen parts from the resulting explosion take most of a minute to hit the ground!)
• The fact that your mission-critical pump is down, and you have not purchased sufficient spare parts for it, is NOT OUR FAULT!
• And the fact that it will take 14 weeks to get the parts is also NOT OUR FAULT!